"I think there should be a rule that everyone in the world
should get a standing ovation at least once in their lives."
I picked up the YA novel "Wonder" at the library this week. I've been taking the boys this summer so they can collect prizes for the summer reading contest and usually snagging something good for myself too. Our library had encouraged everyone to read this particular book as part of a "One Community, One Book" initiative, and upon completing it, I can understand why. "Wonder" is one of those well-written YA books that is full of heart and truth and beauty, whose characters feel like people you know and whose ending makes the tears flow freely.
The story centers on Auggie, a ten year old boy with a craniofacial abnormality who is starting school for the first time...middle school. I cringed through the first few chapters, because Auggie is instantly so sweet and likable, and I knew his experience immersing with his peers for the first time was sure to be painful. And yet I hoped that light would break through the darkness, that love would win out over fear, that the "ordinary kid with an extraordinary face" would make it to the end of fifth grade without being overwhelmed by cruelty.
The novel switches narrators periodically, from Auggie to his sister to his classmates at school and back to Auggie again. This is a great technique to understand the motivation of different characters, especially since Auggie misses things sometimes. It also gives the other characters a chance to be fully fleshed out, truly human, in a way that third person narrative doesn't usually accomplish.
So that's the story. Now on to the all the feelings. Because "Wonder" is not just an entertaining story, it's an unflinching look at human nature, and a lesson in true kindness. I wish I'd had it when I was a middle-schooler, but I'm glad that it has been popular with kids as well as adults. I read this book as a parent...a parent who is just two years away from sending her 5th grader with special needs to middle school. My son is on the Autism Spectrum; he has the reverse of Auggie's problem. See, Auggie has a hard time making friends because he looks so different, and that scares most kids. But those who get close enough to talk to him and know him, find out that he has a great personality and a wicked sense of humor. My sweet James looks like everyone else, but when kids try to play with him or talk to him, his problems with expressive communication become a real barrier to true friendship. I'm encouraged by Summer, who sits with Auggie at lunch on the first day and learns to look past his face. But then I wonder what it will be like, what it is like for James as he goes through school. How can he overcome the obstacles and connect with his peers?
And here's the truth: I worry about sending my son to middle school because I remember my own years in middle school. People were not nice to me. And I was not nice back. I was so concerned about what other people thought that I forgot to think about whether I liked myself. If my son had been a kid at my school, I probably would have made fun of him with my friends and gone out of my way to avoid him. For anyone else who developed compassion a little late in the game, I have only this consolation to give...we can't go back and change how we acted. We can't get a do over for the missed opportunities to be kind. But we can pass on what we've learned to our children. We can raise boys and girls who won't be scared of differences, but will change the tone of childhood for the next generation. We can raise awareness and learn from the past. We can make sure our kids understand Mr. Browne's September precept: "When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind." (Dr. Wayne W. Dyer) And we can teach them that every person is a wonder to someone.
"Miranda's words keep coming back: the universe was not kind to Auggie Pullman. My head swirls on this, but then softer thoughts soothe...no, no, it's not all random, if it really was all random, then the universe would abandon us completely. And the universe doesn't. It takes care of its most fragile creations in ways we can't see. Like parents who adore you blindly. And a big sister who feels guilty for being human over you. And a little gravelly-voiced kid whose friends have left him over you. And even a pink-haired girl who carries your picture in her wallet. Maybe it is a lottery, but the universe makes it all even out in the end." ~"Wonder" by RJ Palacio
And if that's not enough to tug at your heart, watch this video entitled "I am Auggie Pullman".....
